First I’m going to rewind to a year ago.. Without going into too much detail I’ll just say that Blake’s birth outcome effected me a lot more than I expected it to. Right after he was born while still in the hospital, my midwife had told me “you can have a natural birth next time, you just have to wait 18 months.” And that’s when it started.. I wanted to have another baby right away, so I could “fix it” or have a birth like I was “supposed to.” 18 months felt so far away.

I started doing everything I could to make sure my next birth would be perfect. Seeing a chiropractor, reading any v-bac story or book I could get my hands on, taking certain vitamins and eating certain foods to help strengthen the uterus, etc. Anything anyone recommended would help, I did it. I would have gotten pregnant a few months after having Blake if I was “allowed to.” Now looking back, I realize how important it was to wait not just physically, but emotionally. Once Blake was 9 months old and I was able to get pregnant again, I was finally, for the most part, at peace with the way things had turned out and wanting another baby because I actually wanted another baby. I had even told Stefen we could wait a little longer if he wanted, but changed my mind..

At around 2 & 1/2 weeks my appetite was huge. I was constantly hungry and if I didn’t eat I’d get really sick. I had  taken a test recently and it was negative. Since I knew if I was pregnant I would only be a couple weeks along and that these symptoms don’t usually start for another few weeks, I just blamed it on Blake. Around this same time Blake had also started wanting to nurse constantly; every couple hours during the day and all night long. He was also extra clingy. He must have known I was pregnant before anyone else..

The next week I told Stefen I was a day late to which he replied “you’re always late. Do you mean your later than your usual late?” I said “yes”, but I was probably gonna wait till the weekend to take a test just to make sure. That night I had a dream Stefen was yelling “call the cops!” I ran into the room he was in, which in my dream was my parents bedroom, and asked why. He said Blake had wet the bed, to which I replied “he always does that” and he said “no this is a lot more than usual.” I proceeded to change the sheets while we waited for the cops. I always have weird dreams… but the weird thing about this one was that we were at my parents house. While I was pregnant with Blake all my dreams were at their house.

I went to work the next morning and when Stefen came later I told him my dream and jokingly said ” it was at my parents house. I must be pregnant.” Stefen ordered me a coffee and I sniffed it (I always do before I drink it, don’t judge) and instead of smelling amazing like usual, it brought me back to when I was pregnant with Blake and the smell was gross. I drank it anyway but didn’t finish it. I also ordered breakfast but ended up not eating it because the thought started to turn me off. When I got home I took a nap with Blake and when I woke up I had to go to the bathroom and went ahead and took a test. I couldn’t wait any longer. I took a lot of tests with Blake and got a lot of negatives, and when I did finally get a positive it was so faint I had to take it outside to see it for sure. This time I got a positive within seconds and it was a dark line. I started to freak out a little and then -since Stefen was at work- I told Blake “I’m pregnant! I’m gonna have a baby!” He could care less because he didn’t know what I was even talking about, but he put up with me saying it over and over until Stefen got home and I could tell him.

I wanted to wait till after my first appointment to tell our family, and I was planning on waiting till 10 weeks to schedule my first appointment. It worked out that my first appointment was a few weeks before Thanksgiving, and since mine & Stefen’s families would all be together for the first time since our wedding, we thought it would be the perfect time to tell everyone.

Tanya (my sister) & I were seeing the same midwife and I had unknowingly scheduled my first appointment the same day she had one.  I texted Sizzly and told her to make sure she didn’t say anything to her. Later that night at my appointment she promised me she didn’t say anything to Tanya, but that Tanya actually told her that I had been really tired and exhausted from Blake lately and that she may not be seeing me for awhile. I feel bad for Blake but I pretty much used him as the excuse for all my symptoms. To my defense, I really thought he was the cause of them before I knew I was pregnant.

I had said with my next pregnancy I was only going to have one ultrasound at 20 weeks and none earlier, but since an early ultrasound is the most accurate way to determine the due date I wanted to have one done, especially in my case since going by other days usually meant I was farther along and since I went so late with Blake I wanted as much time as I could get! While she was doing the ultrasound Sizzly looked a little surprised at first, I asked if everything was ok and she pointed out on the sonogram that there was another sac, but it was empty. She said there was most likely a twin that didn’t make it. This happened to my mom while she was pregnant with Luke as well. She also said I was only measuring 8 weeks along instead of 10. I thought for sure I was farther along, especially with the sickness symptoms coming on so early. But I guess we’ll just find out when the baby is born!

It was a long few weeks waiting till Thanksgiving to tell everyone.. Finally the day had came! There was so much going on that week that I was getting more and more sick. Blake wasn’t used to having so many people at our house and everything being so busy that he was extra clingy as well which made things a little more difficult. I was so ready for everyone to know so I didn’t have anything to hide anymore. 11 weeks is  a long time to keep a secret from people you see and talk to almost every day.

Lindy takes a family picture every Thanksgiving since most of us are all together. The plan was for Stefen to yell “everyone say Kara’s pregnant” instead of “say cheese” right before she snapped the picture. I knew we wouldn’t get a huge reaction because 1. Stefen jokes around about things all the time so they probably wouldn’t take him serious and 2. most people thought I was so exhausted with Blake that we weren’t thinking of another baby just yet. Right before Lindy took the picture I ran inside and put Blake’s shirt on under his jacket. Lindy went to take the picture, Stefen yelled “everyone say Kara’s pregnant!” and everyone kinda of awkwardly laughed and smiled for the picture. After a few seconds I think it was my mom who said “wait. is he serious? Are you really pregnant?” I took off Blake’s jacket and said “yes. Blake even has a shirt to prove it” and Lindy went ahead and took a fake picture with everyone acting surprised.